When you’re in a long-term relationship, sexual desire can sometimes taper off. It can be because of things like getting stuck in a sexual routine or due to the stress that comes with living together and raising children.
If you and your boyfriend are feeling less sexy, here are some tips to help bring it back. But be sure to talk it over with him before you try anything.
1. Make sure he’s comfortable.
When having sex with your boyfriend, it’s crucial to make sure he feels comfortable. This will help you both connect and enjoy the experience.
To do this, start by getting to know each other better. Talk about your feelings and needs in the bedroom and outside of it.
Once you’ve got this conversation out of the way, it’s time to figure out what your partner wants and doesn’t want in the bedroom. That can be tough, but once you have an idea, it’s easier to communicate and work out a compromise.
You may not be able to change his sexual habits right away, but there are plenty of ways you can encourage him to have more fun with you. Here are 10 tips that will help him feel more at ease in the bedroom.
2. Talk to him about it.
It’s always best to talk to your boyfriend about your sexual needs and preferences before you begin having sex. Doing so will help ensure that you both have an enjoyable experience and are happy with the results.
It is also important to discuss boundaries and safe sex expectations. This will prevent you from having a sexually uncomfortable experience or getting caught off guard in the heat of the moment.
If you’re not sure how to approach the topic of sex, start by asking your boyfriend if he has any fantasies about kinky play. If he does, communicate that you’d love to explore them together.
3. Don’t make it a big deal.
Sex with your boyfriend should be a pleasurable and enjoyable experience, not one of stress or frustration. You don’t need to make it a big deal if you have a rough time, but you do need to let your partner know that you’re struggling with it and that you need space from it.
Similarly, your partner may have a tough time with it and need to take some time off. They might feel like they’re not being intimate enough, but it’s perfectly normal for this to happen.
If you’re a parent, you might want to avoid using the phrase “it’s not a big deal” when your child is upset. This can actually be harmful to them and may cause them to hide their feelings.
4. Don’t make it a competition.
You can have sex with your boyfriend as long as you’re both ready and willing, but it’s a no-no to make it a competition. This regressive trope can lead to resentment, which isn’t what you want in your relationship!
Instead, focus on how you can best help him to enjoy his orgasm. There are a few ways to accomplish this. One is to be clear about what you like, and to be open about what he doesn’t. The other is to be direct with your suggestions about speed, pressure and touch. This will get your partner thinking about what he’s missing, and to take your cues when you have him next! Good luck! Let us know if you have any questions! We’re always here to help!
5. Make it fun.
If you’re feeling bored or lonely in the bedroom, try throwing some fun into your sex routine. It’s a great way to get him thinking about you and rekindle his desire for you.
One way to make sex fun is to experiment with new positions. It may take some time to find a position that works, but it’s a good way to keep things interesting.
Another great way to make sex fun is to spray him with a scent that reminds you of him. It will stimulate different sensory reactions in his body, including arousal.
